So, this year has started off a lil rocky for me.. i split from my boyfriend of 7 months on the 29 of December and well, i ran gin the New Years crying and sobbing myself to bed. So far this year has been So So.. i say that because im trying my hardest to get back with my now ex "BF"..it's hard because I know that me leaving is a huge reason why he's giving me such a hard time now .. We talk every now and then almost on a daily basis .. but nothing like it used to be .. I MISS HIM terribly.. I miss his smile in the morning hes kisses at night.. his hugs when im feeling sad and blue and his soft whispers of Im in love with you when ever i needed reassurance.As of now hes at a church camp miles and miles away from me.. and I'm here wide awake at 1:04am in the morning wide eyed and cant sleep... because all i think about is him.. from the moment Iwake in the morning till the time i lay my head to sleep at night.. constant memories of me and him are going through my mind at a 100 times per second.
Ive never really fallen for a guy this hard let alone feel this lost when we've decided to go our own ways.. its jus different with him .. with Richard it's a love story that never ends.. he makes me smile like ive never smiled ever.. he shows affection when its needed but its when its unexpected is when he shows affection most.. and i love that about him.. he's extremely generous with his heart and he also loves animals which is a plus if you ask me..soft spoken ..soft hearted. kind..sweet guy..What i miss the most are the moments where we would jus stare at eachother.. jus looking in eachothers eyes and feeling how much we cared for one another.. thats what i miss the most.. those silent moments where all you hear is the beating of eachothers hearts and the intense gentle stare from eachothers love struck stare..
I left because of personal reasons.. to which i dont wish to share here.. but lets jus say that when it was good it was great and when it was hard it was really bad... but like all relationships is how you come out of those hardtimes that really teach you about who you are as a person and then who you are as a partner.. and i lost track of the 2 and decided to leave ..when i should have stayed and tried to make it work.. Its hard to say if I regret it.. I do know that in the moment that i left.. I thought i was doing the best thing i could at the time for myself.. However as later on time will teach me.. it wasnt the best thing for us as a couple.. I was hurt and in a bad emotional state of mind when i left and that as usual is when i make my worst decisions . Theres alot of healing to go through on both ends and im not sure if he will ever take me back after leaving him.
Its been almost 3 weeks since the breakup and all though we still talk and jus today he told me that hes still in love with me. Who knows what the future holds for us too.. all I know is that I know for sure that hes the guy im supposed to be with.. hes the guy im supposed to marry and hes the guy i know for sure that i was meant to spend the rest of my life with.. so ill be patient and take eachday by its self and let good life be... in closing i jus want to say that when you feel it in your heart that its meant to be .. dont let it slip away from you..embrace it and do everything you can to make it work...
Erika <3
Ive never really fallen for a guy this hard let alone feel this lost when we've decided to go our own ways.. its jus different with him .. with Richard it's a love story that never ends.. he makes me smile like ive never smiled ever.. he shows affection when its needed but its when its unexpected is when he shows affection most.. and i love that about him.. he's extremely generous with his heart and he also loves animals which is a plus if you ask me..soft spoken ..soft hearted. kind..sweet guy..What i miss the most are the moments where we would jus stare at eachother.. jus looking in eachothers eyes and feeling how much we cared for one another.. thats what i miss the most.. those silent moments where all you hear is the beating of eachothers hearts and the intense gentle stare from eachothers love struck stare..
I left because of personal reasons.. to which i dont wish to share here.. but lets jus say that when it was good it was great and when it was hard it was really bad... but like all relationships is how you come out of those hardtimes that really teach you about who you are as a person and then who you are as a partner.. and i lost track of the 2 and decided to leave ..when i should have stayed and tried to make it work.. Its hard to say if I regret it.. I do know that in the moment that i left.. I thought i was doing the best thing i could at the time for myself.. However as later on time will teach me.. it wasnt the best thing for us as a couple.. I was hurt and in a bad emotional state of mind when i left and that as usual is when i make my worst decisions . Theres alot of healing to go through on both ends and im not sure if he will ever take me back after leaving him.
Its been almost 3 weeks since the breakup and all though we still talk and jus today he told me that hes still in love with me. Who knows what the future holds for us too.. all I know is that I know for sure that hes the guy im supposed to be with.. hes the guy im supposed to marry and hes the guy i know for sure that i was meant to spend the rest of my life with.. so ill be patient and take eachday by its self and let good life be... in closing i jus want to say that when you feel it in your heart that its meant to be .. dont let it slip away from you..embrace it and do everything you can to make it work...
Erika <3
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